Adoption Confusion

Well this post won't be that thrilling but I get asked all the time where we are in our adoption.  If you are confused you are not alone. We sometimes feel confused.  Ben explained it best when he said we should be moving from point A to point B  to point C.  However, we seem to be doing this in the same way a slow river meanders through the country rather than in a straight line.  Also the process is not always very clearly explained to us.  Here is where we are as far as we know and have gathered from our agency and our research.  It is NOT the same way things were done when we adopted the boys four years ago.

Dec 19th - got referral for 3 months old baby girl.  At this point we were told it would be about a six week wait to get a letter we needed to file for court in Ethiopia.  Due to many changes in the systems this letter took three months to get.

March 22nd  - got letter and were put in for a court date.  We were told that it would take about 8-10 weeks until we traveled for our court date from this date.  There are actually two court dates.  As I understand it the first is to confirm the child should be adopted - either the birth mother relinquishes their child OR the abandoned child is confirmed as abandoned.  Once you pass the first court date you are generally scheduled for your travel court date a month later.  This is the time you go there and go to court in Ethiopia to say that yes you want to adopt the child.   It has already been three weeks and we have not yet had our first court date scheduled.  The agency has recently told us their first 8-10 week travel time frame might not be accurate and that it could take as long as 6-8 week just to FIND out when the FIRST court date will happen.  These dates are very random.  People who got their letter the same day as us and were put in for court the same time as us have had their first courts dates scheduled one week, three weeks and one person 7 weeks out.  Others of us are still waiting to have our dates scheduled.

Once we have our first court date we will let you know as we should be traveling about a month later.  But we could definitely use prayers with timing.  It is tricky as Ben finishes the job he is in now at the beginning of July has two weeks off and immediately leaves us for a month long training for his new job.  As soon as training is over he heads to Hawaii to start the new job.  He has been granted permission to meet me in Ethiopia for court but it gets tricky as his schedule gets busier.  A May or June travel date would be best.  On top of all this is the knowledge that the courts in Ethiopia close for the summer months.  Then there appears to be a bit of  back log getting the system up and running again in the fall.  If we miss the spring court we are in for a long wait.  This puts our baby girl in the orphanage longer.  It is a good orphanage.  She is healthy and well and growing more beautiful every week.  But it is an orphanage.  If you know anything about adopting children, the longer they are in an orphanage the harder their transition can be.  Humans do not naturally know how to attach or bond to their parents.  They are taught this by their parents.  Watch a mom with her new born when she is staring in its little face and talking soft and high to the baby.  That is a mom teaching her child to bond.  While our daughter is for sure getting physical care and I am sure is held at times, the ratio of babies to caregivers is 9 to 1.  She can't be getting the love and attention a baby needs.

Please pray with us for something to speed up in our process.  To be honest the thought of her being here right now is a bit overwhelming as this deployment has been rougher than I had anticipated and I have never had a small baby before.  BUT the thought of the consequences of her not being with us right now loom over me and I would so much rather have her here in our arms to love and cherish even if it made life a bit more crazy.  

And the boys.. they are incredible.  Seriously they are amazing.  This last week I had volunteered to help out at an event selling cups.  I had to drag them with me and I was sure they were bored out of their minds.  Not so. They are so easy going.  They laughed and talked about it like it was the best thing ever to watch a 5 K race and sell cups.  They make my days crazy and hectic but also so full of laughter, love and fun.  They continue to be the only reason we would even consider going through the crazy obnoxious process of adopting again.

Yared turns 8

Last week was a big week in our house as Yared turned 8.  I still can't quite get over that it has been four years since we first met our sweet, talented, fun little man.  It is such a joy to do exciting things for him as he loves life in general but do a party for him and he is ecstatic the whole time.  He has this grin on his face pretty much the whole weekend.  Our neighbors went to Texas and came home with cowboy hats for the boys.  Yared has taken to wearing his most days so it was not surprising that he showed up for his beach birthday with it on.  We didn't have great weather but no one really seemed to mind.  

My brother, sister-in-law and the family arrived as reinforcements to help me pull of the beach bash.  I was super thankful to have their help with decorating, cooking, organizing games and cleaning up.  It made me actually enjoy the party.   Yared didn't know they were coming and was so thrilled to see them at the beach.

We started things off with an old fashioned sac race, except these bags are not made of burlap.....

 They broke on the muscly boy team and then the boys proceeded to run the race.

 Girls still doing it the legal way.

 After jumping we had a scavenger hunt on the beach.  They are showing me their treasures.

 There was lots of time for playing in the sand

 and water for the braver one.

 My brother grilling up the hotdogs.

Lunch time on picnic tables with seats too far out means little ones just stand. 

 My nephews helped to bury 140 easter eggs for the kids to dig up.

 Here they are getting ready to dig.  It was a cool idea but no matter how much I taped those eggs there was definitely some sandy candy.

 Time for cupcakes.  They were a beach theme.

 Happy Birthday big guy.

His buddies from church made it too.

 My sweet niece was a huge help too and was just the right age to jump in with the games as well.

 Nati's before and after pictures.  This is when we first got there and before he went into the water.

 and after...cold but happy.

 and after after..when he was given a second cupcake by uncle Ian.

 He was hilarious with all his gifts..declaring loudly how great each and every one was.  He really did love what he got.

My tired clean up crew. 

 The next day was Easter Sunday so we had to get some shots of the kiddos in their fancy clothes.

Me and my boys.

Finally we made it to his actual Birthday.  The boys and I went out to breakfast to celebrate and then he opened his gifts.  Serious joy here. 

 That night our good friends came over to have Ethiopian food and ice cream cake with us.  I have to brag a bit on myself here.  I managed to make three Ethiopian dishes for his Birthday feast and they were good.  My Doro wat is getting delicious.  He was wearing his new favorite shirt that he got for his Birthday.  He went to bed with happiness all over his face.

Happy 8th Birthday Yared.  Thanks to friends and family for making him feel so loved and special.  We sure missed Dad being here but with so much love coming his way he was able to enjoy himself.  

Spring Break

We just got home last night from our version of a spring break.  Originally Ben and I thought that we would be traveling to Ethiopia in March for our court date.  But as we still have made no progress since  December on our adoption I knew March was a no go.  The teacher in me dreads March as it seems like the month with no breaks and when the school year is bogged down in boring routine.  I made the excutive home school decision to go on a trip.  It worked our well.  We did a big loop going north to Mariposa and then West to the Bay area and then finally south to come home.  It is really hitting home that soon we will be in Hawaii and unable to road trip it to see so many of those we love. I was great with taking pictures some places and lousy at others.    We were even able to be with my Dad for his 76th Birthday.  

Random order:). 

My mom's cat.  This cat deserves a medal for surviving in the wild as long as he has.  My poor mom has gone through about 12 cats in the 10 years they have lived in Mariposa.  The only ones that make it are the big beasts like this that can camouflage into the grass.  His name means "two" in Swahilli but number one and number three didn't make it.  That leaves number two all alone. 

 Our last full day we met my sister and niece in San Francisco at the Academy of Science.  It was very cool.  Not a great shot but I couldn't resist as this wee one is not very snuggly yet look at her getting all close to her cousin.

 Striking a pose on the roof.  This of course led to Nati breaking into his dance moves.

 Can you say cheeky?

 Even in California I find myself searching for spring.  I LOVE spring.

At my parents celebrating Babu's birthday.  He had to go on a scavenger hunt to find his presents which were hidden in the polaris. This of course thrilled the boys as they then got a ride. 

Spring again:)!!!

 We spent a day at Bass lake.  I have great shots of the boys but as they were in their underwear I will spare them the embarrassment of the blog.

 We also went to Fairyland with my sister and niece.  The boys clarified when talking to Dad that this was a fairy TALE land not just a fairy land.  It is like a bunch of cool playgrounds put together into one spot.

 with a train.

 and some donkey's you can feed.  Nati was getting pushed out of line by the rowdy kids so Nana took over and told the line how to behave.

 Cutie!!

 An impromptu singing session in a mini church.

 Leaving after a fun morning at Fairyland.

 On the way home we saw a barber shop in Oakland.  The boys had wanted hair cuts and I thought maybe I could pick up tips form someone who knew how to cut their hair.  It was a blast.  Each hair cut took 45 minutes and the boys loved it.  They came out with little sideburns.  Love it.

 Uncle Tom took them to an archery range and found them real bows and arrows to use.  They both LOVED it, especially Nati.

I am frustrated that I didn't get pictures with the friends I visited too.  I do have them on my iphone but that doesn't count as I am too lazy to get them up on this blog.  I was able to meet up with some of my closest friends in California and it was a REAL treat.  I am hoping I inspired some of them to want to come visit us in Hawaii soon.

As promised I will end with adoption news..hmmm there ins't much news to share.  We are STILL waiting on a letter to apply for court.  Rumor mill has it that the letter is coming from a region that has stopped giving letters for a little bit.  Supposedly things were going to pick up after March 10th but as we are on March 19th and there is no good news flowing I am not sure if that date was real or not.  Our sweet baby is around 7 months old now and cuter than ever.  She was very sick for a month there so it is great to get weekly pictures with her smiling healthy face.  I can't wait to meet her in person.  The courts close in July so prayer that we could get a court date before then would be greatly appreciated.  While I desperately want her here with us, I am seeing the boys need me and my undivided attention right now.  It is hard having Dad gone so long.  It is exciting but also overwhelming for them to know they move again this summer.  It has been a harder deployment than I had anticipated.  They are great kiddos but they still struggle like all of us and we have had our share of tantrums and out of control emotions..not all me either:).