Two Weeks of Reflection

There is no real rhyme or reason to this blog entry other than I have things to say so I will add them as they come to me.

Last week Ben and I drove up to Ohio for a class he had to take. I was basically left in the Hotel but I got a lot of painting done on my kid's books so it was a good time. We got to see beautiful snow falling and have a date night every night. Here are a few shots of West Virginia. We had to drive 10 hours in one day so I couldn't stop for too many shots.


The reason we have cats not dogs is that they are self sufficient. We just put out enormous bowls of food and water. I had to catch Baci's excitement when she saw the bowls. Yes they did manage to eat ALL that food in 6 days!!

Here is my new hair cut and color:)

Finally, here is me realizing that in three days I will turn 37 and I will still not be a mom.


I started thinking today as I spent 2 hours raking leaves - it gives you lots of time to think - that it has officially been four years since Ben and I started trying to have kids. During these four years we have sat by and watched nearly all our close friends and even most of our family get pregnant and have babies. We have entered the bizarre world of the infertile. Where we have seen and been seen by many fertility specialists. We have had more embarrassing tests and procedures than I care to remember. We have also entered the world of adoption where it feels like all control is yanked from your hands and you sit and wait hoping to even be considered worthy of being a parent, while at the same time trying to explain to everyone why you are adopting.

The whole childless ordeal has probably been one of my most painful life experiences. And a lonely experience as I do not have ONE close friend or family member who can relate to what we are going through. I mean everyone has been great at being supporting and encouraging but it is different when they haven't walked in your shoes. Even Ben can't truly relate as he is completely prepared to be a dad and he is just as prepared to not be a dad. That is the glum side of my ramblings. The positive side is that I am SO thankful to be in our 4th year as I feel that I have worked through a lot of my own demons. I would not change places with my naive hopeful self of 2004 for anything. I know God has done amazing things in my heart and soul to make me much more peaceful about where we are. I still get moments of overwhelming frustration but they are fewer and farther apart now:). Most days I just enjoy living the blessed life I have and being a wife, sister, friend and daughter.

In case you were wondering, here is where we are in the process. We are still waiting on the two Ethiopian brothers to get paper ready so that we can get a court date. We haven't heard anything from our adoption agency in over two months. They told us it would take three to four months so hopefully by the end of January we will have a court date scheduled. We also decided to go back to our fertility doctor here and try IUI for a few months. This is ONLY if they will let me do it drug free. I am NOT taking hormones again. I like my own happy go lucky nature a lot better than dragon Moira that comes out with hormones.

That's all folks.

Palmetto Bug Humor

I just spent at least 10 minutes in hysterical laughter with tears poring down my face and.... I was all alone. The cats thought I was going mad. Last night we had our small group over from church. I scrubbed the house and it looked so neat and tidy one lady referred to it as pristine. As the evening was coming to a close I reached in a cupboard to get something and saw a Palmetto Bug (PB). I quickly shut the door hoping no one saw, thinking I would deal with it later. But the stupid bug got so scared that while everyone is standing in the kitchen it comes out a drawer and runs across the kitchen counter. I was not in the room, but Ben just flipped it on its back and picked it up by its antennae and dropped it in the trash. What???? No squashing its guts out. In fact I didn't even hear this story until everyone was gone. I was so embarrassed.

I got up this morning to find out how to get rid of these horrible creatures as we have been seeing more and more. Last year we saw two the whole time and killed them. Anyways, I found this site where people were talking about PBs. I am not sure if I was just in a good mood or what but their descriptions of their experiences with the bugs had me laughing until I couldn't breath. One lady wanted to know if they bite as when she sprayed one it "chased her as she ran in circles". Another said they "don't attack you but are just jumping at you as they think you are a tree." To which someone responded, "I find it hard to believe that 'tree roaches' think I'm a tree!! LOL A small round overgrown bush, maybe..." One poor lady wrote, "I just moved to Florida and am just flabbergasted by these bugs. Am terrified of walking around and finding one. I sneak around the house so I won't run into one and have it chase me. Please help!!!" I really must be sick and twisted but I just think this is so funny. I mean I hate having them in my house but I had to laugh at people's reaction to them. One lady said her husband literally knocks over furniture to kill them. My husband gets the cat. I also read that they can live forever and the eggs can hatch out of the dead mother. What the heck? So I will go back to my way of killing them which is to smash them so hard with a shoe that they are flat as a pancake when I am done with them.

Please do come visit. I will have them under control. I did learn how to control the popluation. I learned not to use borax as that is as useful as "putting a sign up asking them not to come in", but do use Home Defense and bait traps. I am going to the store on the way home from work.

Ben's Birthday

Chocolate Peanut Butter Cake to celebrate Ben's 33rd Birthday.

November has 6 family Birthdays for us including mine and Ben's. Yesterday was Ben's Birthday. He isn't a Birthday fanatic like I am but I think we made his day special. He decided he wanted to do an Indiana Jones marathon. I had never seen them as I walked out of the first one being absolutely terrified. (In my defense I was 10 years old and had an extrememly vivid imagination.) It was a great day to just be with Ben. We shut our drapes and cuddled on the couch while we plowed through Indi adventures. We really are treasuring this time of just the two of us. While I can't wait to be a mom, I realize that this couple time is something that we will crave once the house is busy and full. Happy Birthday to you Ben - you are my favorite person to be with EVER!!!

I also had to include these fall shots from my walk to the local library this week. I really don't remember it being this beautiful last year.


These Ginko shots are in honor of my sister Meg as she loves Ginkos.

Christmas Thought

Thanks Robyn for telling how to show this video as a video not a link. Love this thought.

Things that go "ick" in the night.

Last night we woke up to quite a racket being made by our cats. They were viscously attacking a pile of papers. We got up and yelled at them to knock it off. Humans need their sleep you know. 10 minutes later they attack the trash can. Again, we yell, they run, we sleep. Later they start jumping up and down off of the dresser where I had moved the enticing stack of papers. I give up yelling and roll over, very glad once again to be slightly deaf in one ear. After Ben leaves for work I hear them still attacking random stuff in the room. They seem obsessed with anything along this one wall. I get up and have a very much needed cup of coffee. My neighbor drops by to return a bowl and I tell him of my woes. He says that is probably roof rats.

That is not what I wanted to hear. Roof rats. He explains how they climb up through the walls. Oh great. I am never going to sleep again. I have a huge aversion to rats. My sister had her ears chewed by some when she was little and it has been a terror of mine ever since I heard that story. I shudder at the thought of roof rats in my walls and begin to plan how to exterminate them. Yes, yes, I have cats but they can't get in the walls to get the rats.

Later I decide to put all the junk back that I moved in the night to stop the frenzied felines. As I lift up one paper I see a huge water bug. (Side note - a water bug or a palmetto bug is a polite term for the biggest nastiest cockroach you have ever seen.) This is what the stupid cats were after. I call them up and they happily catch it and eat it. There is no accounting for taste. In fact one is so sad that the game is over that she sits there wailing for me to find her another bug. Not likely.

Now I know I don't have roof rats but I do have cockroaches of unusually large size. I clean my house I promise!! Hope you can all come visit really soon:).

Election Day 2008 - I love America

I woke up today very excited to vote. I have never done it in person before. It was exciting, patriotic and rather exhilarating. Regardless of who becomes our next President, we have an amazing country. I know our economy sucks and yada yada yada. But get real folks we have it made. If you don't like America I think you should switch places with one of the millions who are trying to get in here. Standing in line to vote made me realize how much I love this country. This is America at its best. My hope is that the victor and the loser tonight will be gracious in defeat and in victory. I also hop that the media will be gracious. As a teacher I get fed up telling kids to be kind, polite and treat each other with respect when the media does the exact opposite of that. How can I teach them this when all they see in the adult world is contray to what I am teaching. My fellow Americans, accept today's results and look forward to the future. Be positive about our leader - whoever they are. There is still so much to be thankful for in this country, it isn't perfect but honestly which one is? I for one am very proud to be American. I can't wait to vote again in four more years.

Here is my journey to the polls in picture form:).

Getting in my car - wet, fall weather showing up in full form.

The line of cars and people from a distance.


Waiting calmly in line for my turn.



Me in line with my voter registration card. I know I am a nerd but it was so fun.


I voted!!! I count!!

While You Wait

I know many of you check this for adoption updates, but I really have nothing new to share. We are still waiting on the boys to get cleared for adoption by the Ethiopian Government. The agency director is over in Ethiopia right now so I am hoping for good news when he gets back.

What do I do with all my free time, you might ask. I substitute teach sometimes - not my favorite occupation but what are you going to do?. I work out, sew quilts, work on writing kid's books, cook, clean, read books and oh yeah......

I go on buisness trips with Ben. Last week we were in North Carolina staying in a seedy hotel. It was a blast. I am not being sarcastic. It was really fun. I wasn't expecting it to be so fun. I wasn't too inspired with the camera but here are two shots of Wilmington, a classic southern town. We sauntered around here and found a really good coffee shop and an Italian grocery shop. I was rather shocked to find that in the south.


I also work on my parenting skills, like pumpkin carving.