You scream, I scream, We all scream for Ice Cream

Today was one of those beautiful spring days that reminded me again why I am in love with Spring. It is hands down the best season around. Today was a day that was warm and cool all blended together to make you feel perfectly content with life. A day where the white fluffy clouds sparkled against the shiny blue sky, and the brand new tree leaves twinkled sunshine off of them. A day where you found yourself wanting to skip and sing and laugh. A day where you almost burst into poetry, and you know how I feel about poetry:)). You also find yourself spotting your ice cream coupon and when your husband comes home EARLY.. yes I said that right EARLY from work, you just have to load up your precious two sons in the mini van and head off for ice-cream. Then you find a park and run off the extra energy you just ingested into your three energetic men. It was a great afternoon!!!

Nati chose Superman flavor (AKA Vanilla with Superman colors) which he called Maman.

After careful consideration Yared chose Birthday Cake - which had frosting mixed in. He was in heaven.

Then the licking began. Nati in action.

Yared and Dad got caught on camera too.

I too indulged as evidenced by the chocolate on my nose.. .HA HA. I didn't even notice it until Yared started laughing.

Dad caught on camera trying to trip his boys.. I think they like it.

After being a complete Momma's boy(and I am NOT complaining) for the last year, Nati is falling in love with Daddy and Daddy with Nati. It is sweet to watch.
Happy boys, Happy parents, Happy Spring Day.

Exploring

Ben and I feel like we are finally managing to fit things back into our life that we did before we had kids. Exercise, travel, alone time, you get the picture. Well we decided on the spur of the moment to take the boys up to Williamsburg this month. I forgot to post pictures before. We are hoping to get out and about and explore more of the area the rest of this year as this is probably our last year here.

I like this shot as Nati is finally outgrowing his Mommy only phase. He still wants me when he is tired or upset but he loves to play with Daddy.

This is the Governor's Palace at Williamsburg. Yared is SO SO good at posing for me. We worked out a deal where I will take pictures quickly if he will pose. I explained that taking pictures is like going to the park for him. He seems to get it and is willing to accommodate me.

Dad teaching Yared how to climb in trees. Ben is CRAZY with what he will do so I was rather impressed with how mellow he kept this training session.
I made Ben do this after...
He made the boys do this and..
this. Notice Mom did NOT do any of this. The benefits of being the only female in our family and the holder of the camera.
The boy who once wailed and screamed and held on to me with all his little might at the thought of animals last year, is now our animal lover. He wants to touch, kiss, hug and basically be with any animal. Except cows.. he is still afraid of cows.

Photography

Spring is here and I have had a blast catching the light and messing with the camera. I did a mini shoot for some friends and then we went to a Birthday party last week. Here are some of my favorites of the last three weeks. I feel like there is so much to learn and I don't really care enough to get GREAT at this, but I like messing around and capturing the moment.

Let's start with Mr. Handsome himself. I love this boy's eyes. I'll never get tired of watching them.

Little buddies about to be parted as the Navy is moving her away:(.
Laughing at their kids.. this was not set up. I love it.

Ok. Ben got this one. It is actually really funny as his balloon sword died after we repeatidly told him to stop poking the ground with it. We were comforting him too but we had to catch the drama of the moment.

We all tease them about how much alike they are. This is the picture to prove it. Mini me and her big sister.
The Birthday Princess

Thankful and wistful

I promised that I would keep this blog real and that is what leads to todays ramblings. First, I feel so blessed to be the mom of these two boys. I know not everyone who reads this blogs shares my faith regarding Jesus, but I am convinced they are a gift from Him. They are such a perfect match for Ben and I. I sat between them watching TV this morning with my arms around their little bodies and was just in awe of where we are as a family. It is so fun to watch them grow, explore, learn and imagine. I love being a mom. Last year was overwhelming but it was so so so worth it. I start with this paragraph so you all know I have NO regrets on this adoption. Most days I feel undeserving to be so content and happy. I know many are struggling right now and I feel guilt at times to be so peaceful.

But there are still times when the full impact of adoption hits me. Yesterday we had tears of sadness from Yared who seemed to grasp for a moment what his birth mother had given up. He is five and he couldn't explain all that he was feeling but we went from happily playing play dough and having a conversation about babies, to full sobbing tears. The gist of it was he seemed to get he wasn't going to live with her again. It was hard for this Mom to hear that he was sad for that Mom, but it is good that he is experiencing these emotions. He needs to feel free to express them to me. I held him on my lap and loved him until he felt better. We have not had anything like this so I was rather taken aback by it all. I was prepared for this to happen last year but not a year later. It made me wish for the first time in a long time that the boys did come from my body too and not just my heart. I know they will face more questions, tears and pain as the years go on and I wish I could erase it from their future. I also know my heart will be hurt in the process of them hurting. It just made me wish I could take adoption out of our equation. Yet, I know that I can't, and that Ben and I were meant to have these two beautiful brown boys. Most days I love our adoption story and would willing share it with others. But somedays, I am overwhelmed with the sadness that comes with adoption too.

I also love being a mom so much that I wish we could have more kids. But even that thought comes with a bagful of emotions. Sometimes I hear people asking someone if they want more kids and I realize I never get asked this. People know how hard it was for us to become parents and they avoid the question. I wish I was normal and people would ask. I wish I could answer, "We are going to try for another one." and everyone would smile and wish us good luck. But for us another child would be a miracle baby. We, well more Ben than I, aren't willing to do another adoption. It is too bumpy a road. Physically it is possible for us to have kids but not likely. And on top of this desire for more kids is a deep down fear that it would hurt our boys. Would another child throw our peaceful, joy-filled family into chaos? Would the boys feel more pain because a biological child entered the picture? Would they understand that we would not love this child any more than them EVER? Is it worth even the slightest risk of hurting them? But they are part of the reason I want more kids. They make being a mom so much fun and I see how fast one year flew by and realize that before I know it they will be grown and gone.

That brings me full circle back to my faith. I am so glad that when I feel sad and burdened for the boys, or self pity for my own infertility, or frustration for the effects of adoption, I can turn to prayer. I can confidently put all these fears, hopes and worries in a prayer and ask Jesus to answer in the way He sees is best. He led me to Ben, He gave me the boys, so I know He will find the best answer for tomorrow.

Make Believe

The world of dress up and make believe has hit our home full force. The boys love to pretend and Yared got some great Birthday presents to help his imagination soar. I quickly made Nati a cape when I saw that Yared was going to wear his nearly all day. The cowboy hat is referred to as a "nose hat". Our friend wears one and Yared calls him Mr. Nose Hat. He thinks the point looks like a nose.

The Real Deal

Here are a few shots for Yared's real Birthday AKA April Fool's Day. As we had already had his party this was just a bonus day for him. We started with his requested French Toast. I attempted to cut animal shapes with cookie cutters. It worked ok but I learned it is best to do this after you cook the toast so the eggs don't make the edges fuzzy. Here is Nati showing off his dish.

Yared did go to pre-school and I sent cupcakes but I believe it or not I did NOT get a picture.

Dinner was my attempt at tibs wet, shiro wet, Ethiopian greens and injera. Well the injera I bought and it was great. The shiro was great too. The tibs was so so and the greens were ok. Yared loved it and had requested it for his big day.

Mommy and Nati at the Birthday dinner.

Daddy and, as he referred himself, the Birthday Boy:).
Modeling his gift from Nana and Babu. He loves dress up.