My little big men taken last month.
Deployments are definitely doable but not enjoyable. I actually find the worst part is the week before Ben leaves. I wake up every day with this feeling of dread. It just clouds over my days. So in some ways I am glad to have the good bye over and find that the gloom leaves. I am a generally happy person and wake up positive about life so to wake up in a sad/depressed mood is exhausting.
We were really extra blessed to have lots of family time the week before he left. The boys just soaked up Daddy wresting, reading biking, jumping, playing and loving. I loved having him home during the day to talk with and get a few things done around the house. We had a family night last weekend which I will post about next. It was a good goodbye week.
The day he left we took him over to his office building and hung out for about 10 minutes. I could see that Yared was having a hard time so I told Ben we should take off. Ben is all for quick goodbyes but was trying to let us handle it the way we needed to. I was SO proud of Yared. He has never ever been able to hold it together when saying goodbye. He still cried but he was under control. Ben got down on one knee, took off his sunglasses and made sure each boy heard how much he loved them and was proud of them. He too has come a long way in sensitivity. He really just reassured them and told them he would miss them and be home soon. Nati didn't shed a tear but hugged tightly. I shed tears but behind sunglasses:). We walked around the building and away from strangers eyes and Yared's tears really flowed. We got in the saftey of the car and Yared started sobbing. It was hard to hear and I kept trying to reassure him through my own tears. After a few minutes Nati looked over at his big brother and said, "Yared, take a deep breath." It nearly undid me to hear him comforting Yared.
We got home and it was a beautiful day so we sat on the front lawn reading one of Yared's school books and absorbing sunshine. Finally I felt too weary to continue school so I let the boys play while I cleaned up the house. Nati took a fall about half an hour later and that is when his tears hit him. He cried for his fall, cried for his Dad and just sobbed in my arms saying, "I miss my Daddy." This of course got me going again. But overall the goodbyes went well.
We truly live in the best area for us to say goodbye to Dad. We are surrounded not only by friends but by fellow military wives who get what I am going through and fellow military kids who get what the boys are going through. As it was Valentine's Dad, one friend showed up with flowers, a card and a gift. Another gave me my favorite bottle of wine. I was invited to dinner that night which masked the empty seat at our table. I came home to Valentines chocolates from someone else for the boys and I. I also had calls from family and friends checking in on me. Seriously I was rather spoiled. On top of all that God really answered prayers and gave us all a lot of peace on this dreaded day.
Now it a few days later and we are still doing well. We have skyped with Ben and seen where he is. The boys are doing well over all but have moments where it hits them that he is gone. I find evenings lonely but I am going to get a lot of projects done while Ben is gone.
Not much new to tell and what we have isn't good. Our sweet baby has been sick for almost six weeks now. She now has pneumonia and anemia. We definitely need prayers for her. She looks so little and weak. We are STILL waiting on the letter to file for court. Ethiopia is in more transition time with adoptions so there are a lot of unknowns. But I have committed to NOT researching anything more about the situation on Ethiopian adoptions, praying constantly for our baby and persistently pushing for something to be done on her behalf over there so she is healthy and happy while she waits for us. I am going to push next week to have a my mom's friend who lives in Addis and is a nurse to go look at her and see if there is anything else that can be done for her.