Waiting on a letter

Well it has been 5 weeks since we first saw our sweet baby girl's face.   We were told she would be at her orphanage for a few weeks and then moved to a transition home in Addis Ababa.  It turns out that she was moved awhile ago to this home.  Because of this we get weekly updates on our baby.  Let me tell you she is beautiful.  She has big beautiful soft curls.  She has twinkly black eyes that shine.  She has a little button nose and a shy smile.  She seems to be connecting to someone in the transition home as she smiles at the camera and looks happy and well.  She looks a lot like Yared but she has long lashes that look just like Nati's.

Where we are now in our process?  We are waiting for a letter from MOWA.  This is kind of like Ethiopia's social services agency.  Once we have this letter we can apply for a court date.  Once we get a court date Ben and I get to go meet our baby and go to court.  If we pass then we wait a few more weeks to get cleared by the US Embassy.  Then at last I can go back to Ethiopia and pick our daughter up.

Add to this schedule that Ben leaves soon for another deployment next month and this spring is full of big events.  The boys are getting super excited to have a baby sister and talk about her a lot.  At the same time we are all dreading the deployment.  It will be a short one but being apart is exhausting in so many ways.  However this feels like we are entering a short tunnel, one you can already see the light at end of. And that light holds a new little girl, Ben home with us and a Hawaiian sunset.  We can do this.

Christmas One Month Late

Well I am almost exactly a month late but here is a few pictures of our Christmas and New Years. 

Trying to get the perfect Christmas picture while at the Christmas tree farm. 

boys dragging the tree back and giving me their "we are fed up with smiling" smiles. 

  I asked the boys to deliver Christmas cards and goodies to the neighbors.  It turned into an impromptu caroling session and they invited their next door neighbor buddy to come with them.

Nati hid in here waiting for our family to arrive on Christmas Eve...rather nasty as it is our shoe box and smells like boy sneakers.

 My little Mom getting caught up in size by my nephews.  So glad they could all be here to celebrate with us.

 The Charlie Brown tree.

 Normally Baci runs and hides from kids but I guess teenagers are fun as she fought to be in the middle of the action all Christmas.

Early morning stocking extravaganza.

 So glad Mom was with us and feeling better.

Our nephews... we love these boys.

Yared getting a great new toy.

 Every time I asked this sweetie what she wanted for Christmas she said Candy Canes.  She got a boatload of them.

Blurry but too cute.  

 Babu being Santa again.

 Oh yeah I got my first gift of pink.  My SIL got me these adorable shoes that sit in my window sill and my sister gave me a sweet mobile.   I am getting so excited to turn things girly around here.

 Babu with all the grandkids that were here.  He still has four others.

 LOVED this little set.

 New Years up at my parents.

High school sweethearts celebrating the New Year:).

 Cam and girlfriend.  She braved all of us for a night.  I thought her very brave to do so.

Skiing in Yosemite but not in our gear yet so the boys were FREEZING.

It wasn't full:)

 The party crowd.

 Ben made it until 10 pm:).

 We made it until midnight.  The first in a long time for me.

 Well that is it for now.  Happy New Year and we are excited to see what 2013 holds for the Leppard family.. new home?? new daughter?? new ???

They are listening.

We read some books on Martin Luther King Jr. last week and then listened to some of his speech.  I wasn't sure Nati was paying attention until Yared called me over to see what Nati was doing at lunch recess.  He redid it for the camera.  He is quite the ham.  

Living in the moment

I lay in bed last night just at peace with the world but ironically also not at peace.  I mean this.  I am so grateful to be right where I am in life.  I love being married.  I love being a Mom.  I love living here in Port Hueneme.  Believe it or not I love being in my 40s:).  I love life.  But we are on the brink of so much change, some good and some not so good.  There is much to look forward to and somethings to no look forward to in my near future.

In a few weeks Ben will leave us once again to deploy.  This time he will be in Spain so perfectly safe and sound but still very far from us.  We will so miss our evenings and weekends with him.  I am hoping that deployment 5 is our last. I am done with them that is for sure.  In a few months we will leave CA and move to HI.  In a few months, hopefully, we will welcome home our baby girl.  Wow that is a lot to look forward to.  I can't wait to meet, hold and love on our daughter.  But... I also want to enjoy this time without a baby where the boys get my full attention and are old enough to do so many things.  I am excited and curious to move to Hawaii.  I have never been there and I am really looking forward to it.  But...it means moving away from here.  We love where we live right now.  We have great friends, we are within driving distance of most of our family and there is so much to do.  I am not looking forward to being far away from our families again.

Yared said the other day, "Mom I am so excited to move to Hawaii but also so sad to leave here."  I get what he is saying.  I want to keep what I have and add Hawaii to it.  But I can't have my cake and eat it too.  I must greet each new day as a day that brings me one day closer to losing Ben for a bit and one day closer to gaining our daughter for a lifetime.  It is one day closer to moving to Hawaii...YEAH and one day closer to leaving this wonderful home.. BOO.

That is why I feel at peace and not at peace at the same time.  I want to savor this precious time even while I dream of the future.  I want to slow down the days and speed them up all at the same time.

Every day I find myself searching email for more updates and pictures of our sweet daughter.  WOW is she breath taking.  The updates are sporadic so there is no way of knowing when they will come through.  It makes every day a surprise.  It is the strangest feeling getting to know her through two photos and some stats on her weight and health.  It doesn't feel real but rather that I am living someone else's life.  But a good one:). A God blessed one.  An exciting one.  So here is to 2013 with all the hills and valleys I can see looming and all those I can't.